This is not an article describing how to manipulate what others think about you (it never works in the long run anyway). This article is simply me trying to convey my beliefs about High School.
Some of you might notice that ideas are similar to those from CYC. So credit to those guys. It’s meant to show how I have adapted it to the high school scene.
The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear. -Socrates
What exactly is it that makes high school different from the real world?
First off, In HS you will be around the same people for 4 years. It’s a social environment by itself. Because of this, several things that aren’t as important in the real world is quite important in HS.
HS is as you probably know a “social scene” in and of itself, and guys who have the most success with women get this and rise to the top of it.
Being pre-selected: Girls will watch how other people react to you, in order to figure out who the top dog is. Girls don’t really want to be hit on; they want to ‘select’ who they want to hook up with.
Pre-selection is something you demonstrate with your actions and your personality traits, not your words. If you do have pre‐selection, it triggers MASSIVE sexual attraction. In fact, it overpowers things that cause sexual attraction in “real world game”. Being pre-selected implies that you are wanted; there is no better way to do this than by gaining reputation.
“A reputation is an animal designed by committee: you give birth to it, but the way it develops depends on the actions of others. Your reputation lives a very real existence apart from you, representing the collective mental construct everyone but you shares about you, a construct based partially on your own actions but also on the perceptions others have about others’ perceptions of your actions. We only ever have influence over our reputation—never control—as is the case with all things external to us.”
Your reputation, being how people perceive you, will not change in ‘real time’, it will lag behind your actions, and thus it requires time and patience.
You want to be known in your school. You want to be known as a cool, fun, positive guy. You will seem higher value, more intimidating, and a pre-selected alpha to almost any group. The thing about this is you want to actually POSSESS these qualities, not fake them. To build a good reputation, you have to become a person that deserves one. Take consistent action that embodies the characteristics you want others to associate with you.
A reputation is a fragile thing. It requires constant feeding. Consistency is crucial. If you live up to your reputation 99% of the time but fail to do so 1% of the time, you risk disproportionate damage if the person you let down is highly influential in your network. A good reputation shouldn’t be an end in itself but rather a natural outgrowth of your striving to be the person you most want to be.
Your reputation is what people know you as. Getting a decent reputation is not very easy. Most people either have a loser reputation, or don’t have one at all. A reputation is very important for your social life in high school. Chicks like to be on the edge with everything, like a good time, like gossip (if you have a good rep, you will be on the tip of everyone’s tongue), like to be seen with popular people.
To gain a good reputation, you will need:
- A good attitude and personality!
A decent relationship with the popular kids.
Something that makes you unique.
- A good attitude. This one is SOO important. It’s the foundation of everything; it’s all of these things we keep talking about on the forums. You want to bring those skills into your school. Being positive and having a positive outlook on life is key. The world is a light place. No one wants to be with a boring, negative guy, with nothing interesting to say. Say what’s on your mind. Spread your energy and happiness, people will return the favor. Have a strong reality, don’t let people abuse you. And so forth, this is what you will always keep improving.
There are four personality traits you want:
We are to enjoy life, smile, joke around and have fun. Everything is a reason to be happy or to laugh. Learn the ability to amuse yourself. I’m canning myself as I’m typing this. An amazing line that you should always think to yourself (especially with chicks) is: «How can I make this fun? », not «What should I do next? ». When you’re with girls, don’t be thinking about how you must hook up, get laid, or make your move. Of course it is important to escalate, but moreover, ask yourself this question: “How can I have the maximum fun possible right now? How can I make her smile? What can I do, right this instant that will make me FEEL FUCKING INCREDIBLE?”
The key to being and having fun is to amuse yourself, not trying to amuse or impress others, seeking a reaction. Don’t be an asshole and have fun on other’s expense.
– You can be a fun, interesting, good‐looking guy and still never hook up if you are apologetic about your masculinity. Being dominant means being assertive and confident about what you want and expect from others. Not «What should I do? », but «What do I want? »
A confident man is a dominant man. If you act dominant without confidence, you may just come off as an asshole. A true and genuine sense of dominance comes when you set and stick to your priorities, when you are living your life according to your own guiding principles. In the face of opposition you not only stand strong, but you push forward with renewed drive and intensity.
A dominant man will assert himself physically and draw boundaries. He will take what he wants. A dominant man is not a jerk. A jerk takes without giving back, while a dominant man will reward.
– Take initiative. Know when to organize an event, be a guy that comes up with cool stuff and brings people together. If you see a girl eyeing your friend across the room, then go up to him and make him aware. Walk up to the girl and make an intro, so you can introduce them later.
Taking the lead also means that you will be controlling your interactions. You won’t be waiting for her to make a move; you will lead conversations where you want them to go, you will reach out and take a woman’s hand, or lock her arm in yours when you’re walking together, without looking for her assent or approval. You’ll pick up a girl and carry her piggyback, you’ll smack her on the butt, and you’ll do all sorts of other things that indicate that you’re comfortable being physical.
When you are a leader, you are the one responsible for making your own days and nights. You don’t wait around for other people to bring the fun or to tell you where to go. You TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your own life and your own good time, and you make sure to bring as many people along with you as possible.
– Guys that are successful in HS are VERY easygoing. They’re having fun in their own way, but they’re never neurotic or overly concerned about anything. They have the confidence to know that things will be ok. Don’t worry what everyone thinks of you. Just slow the fuck down. Talk slower, walk slower, be relaxed. Don’t resist what is, just accept it. Most negative emotions are resistance to the present moment. You can only act upon something after you’ve accepted it. Being easygoing is about being comfortable wherever you are and taking on whatever the world throws at you without overly reacting, thus reaching a higher conclusion.
try out things that others won’t (Not talking about drugs and dangerous shit here unless you want to).
«Bros before hoes» Always look out for you buddies, a lay is not as important as your friends. Elevate your friends, and they will lift you even higher.
Be the guy you want to be around.
How to achieve these traits? Simply push your comfort-zone. The more you push it; the faster the process. Character transformations happen when you stretch the limits of what kind of behavior is possible.
2. A decent relationship with the popular kids.
Unless your school is small, getting a good rep is not going to be a one man job. Get to know the popular kids, hang out with them. Make them like you and you will be pre-selected. Make other people spread your name, it doesn‘t always matter what you did. Just make sure that everybody knows you. Be careful with this though, as a reputation is apparently fragile (From what I’ve read, it is; however, I haven’t seen a reputation be fragile in reality).
- Something that makes you unique.
Why should people know your name? What makes you different? Is it because you are the life of the party? Do you have an unique style? Are you good at sports? Do you connect people?
Don’t be a copycat. Don’t do what other people do simply because it’s normal. Don’t be afraid to go against the norms – but swimming against the current can be both hard and unnecessary.
Don’t adopt the attitude that every girl you’re talking to is a «cold approach», like a random girl you meet one night in a party/bar/mall in the real world. If you do this, and use lines and routines, the chicks will be weirded out. Why? Because you’re acting like an outsider. You’re acting like you’re not a part of the social environment. Your value is lowered; you are literally coming up to her with an empty cup, asking her to fill it. No one wants to be around a value taker.
Giving value is big in any setting, not just in HS. Why? Because we as humans are drawn towards any kind of value. Value is like a magnet. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!
What is value? Value for a man is different for what’s value for a woman.
- Anything that helps you survive
Anything that helps you have more kids
Anything that helps those kids survive.
- Anything that gives good emotions (As we don’t always know what is going to help us).
Now, keep in mind: Value is a percieved personality trait or an action; not something you say.
Value can be many different things. A line of coke to a cokehead can seem to have value for him, when it in reality doesn’t. Do you think our paper money had any value 2000 years ago?
Value is hardwired to be mostly short-term (due to living 200,000 years as cavemen + 3 million as cavemen but not fully evolved).
Women are looking for:
*The «good attitude» traits.
Deciciveness – Being decisive is important. How could you ever survive back in the day if you weren’t decisive? Make quick decisions based on your information in the present moment.
Resourcefulness – You have the «tribe». You have a lot of friends and people know you. This is rep. This is NOT money. Money is not an attractive quality at all. It’s the lover/provider theorem. You will end up as a provider.
Dominant – Being dominant means being assertive and confident about what you want and expect from others. Not «What should I do?», but «What do I want?»
Fearlessness – Don’t be afraid to act in spite of fear (that’s a part of developing confidence). I remember many things seeming dangerous and scary, and some shouldn’t be. People always respect the guy that does things others don’t dare do. Don’t get into trouble.
Strong reality – A strong reality is basically having many strong reference points for healthy beliefs about yourself and the world. Having a strong reality is important, but it takes time. It is built up as you learn more about this stuff and get more experience. Learn to think and act for yourself; don’t assume that others will think for you.
HS is Social
If you’re being strategic, moment by moment in HS, you’re doing something wrong.
Being strategic means that if you are routinely stepping out of the present moment to assess and re‐position; you are not really enjoying yourself. This goes against our attitude. Of course, starting off, you must have some strategy. Sometimes you must take a step back and look over what works and what doesn’t.
You have to be socially proactive.
Don’t look at meeting new people as cold approaching; look at it as giving love. Giving love is crucial. Spread good vibes, assume attraction. Assume good responses, don’t look for reactions, just assume them.
In the classroom you want to get to know the people as early as possible; don’t wait until the end of the semester. Simply talk to people before class starts or maybe say hello towards the end. This should be easy; just don’t fart on them.
Ask the professor interesting questions, try getting them off-topic and talking about interesting stuff. Be active in discussions; don’t be afraid to speak your mind. However, you don’t want to be the nerd who asks about exposition on unimportant details.
Use notes. Be direct. Don’t ask about what she thinks of the subject, say «Hey, what’s your name?». From here, expand to talking about social stuff, who she knows, common people etc. You can soon be all love, kisses and hugs.
You simply have to be social with people. I’m talking high fives in the hallway, being a bit higher energy than everyone else, hugs, chatting to people. This also applies in recess. Don’t stay with one type of people, go mingle! Try bringing groups together, which brings me to:
Being the bridge.
A bridge is a guy who easily connects with and is friends with a lot of girls, or vice versa.
The easiest way for a guy to become a bridge is to have a girlfriend with a lot of cute friends.
There are also, of course, some guys just get along well with women and naturally become bridges to the opposite sex. These can be guys who love women and love to be around them. So each clique has these bridges, who they will call or text when they’re making their plans. You become a bridge naturally by BEING the things in this article.
You don’t want to be using memorized lines and routines in HS, trying to structure your conversations a specific way, thinking «What do I say to get this girl to stay with me? », because that is what you’re doing. You’re sucking value, you’re a value taker. This isn’t supposed to be logical, men are logical, women are not. You want to communicate with emotion. Chicks want to feel good. If you can provide this, you will be of massive value. Good emotions are:
- The positive energy you share
The dominant masculinity you project.
Acting disinterested has never worked for me in HS. Being direct is the way to go. If you like a girl, then you go for her. Your qualities provide the value needed. An abundance mentality is something that naturally derives from being successful in HS and girls in general. An abundance mentality means that you know that you can get many chicks; you have the ability to get some whenever you like. Because of this, you will not come off as needy. There is a fine line between being needy and being persistent, and that is it.
Now all of this takes a large amount of practice to get down, it’s not the type of thing that is going to show up overnight. But as you work at it over time it WILL come.
That’s all I have for now… now go out and apply it!