Hey guys with the launch of College Game we have decided to introduce a new writer to the team. He goes by the name of Snow and he’s from South Africa. Here’s his first article…
Lots of you reading this have probably heard the following phrase at least once: “Do NOT be OUTCOME DEPENDENT and just DO IT”. This is all very good, but what does it actually mean to be dependent on the outcome?
Being outcome dependent simply means your state and emotions are affected by you worrying about the outcome even before you approach. It can also be said that if you go out simply to pick up girls, you are being outcome dependent because your night is dependent on successful pickups for you to have a good time.
There are two types of outcome ‘dependency’:
Reliance on outcome dependency
This is where your state and your feelings are determined by the way the situation ends. So when a girl rejects you, your feelings shut down and you feel destroyed for the rest of the night.
The opposite can be said when you hook the girl via kiss, number, or fuck, and your feelings and state become high; your emotions are attached to the outcome, thus the outcome is dominating your state. This is what this article will focus on and why being emotionally attached to the outcome is HIGHLY NEGATIVE
This is the more positive aspect of outcome dependency, the aspect that all should strive for. This is when you go into sets with a goal and you do your best to reach that goal – whether it be getting the girls number, kissing her, or even just pushing your comfort zone – but you fail and yet you are unaffected by the outcome, you simply don’t care as you are having such a great time. You acknowledge the fact you failed and you go back for more in order to fix your mistakes. Once your emotions and state are independent from the outcome, you cannot be harmed.
Outcome Dependency when it comes to Game: EMOTIONAL RELIANCE ON THE OUTCOME
Have you ever been speaking to a girl and you find yourself thinking “What do I say/do next”? This is because you are worried about the outcome. You are worrying about whether or not you will hook her or get her number; you are over thinking.
You need to live in the NOW and not worry about what will or could happen; she hasn’t deserved that yet. This can link back to the whole concept of self amusement, saying things that you want to say or that you want to speak about in order to make you enjoy yourself, bringing her into your reality.
When you approach the set, the last thing that you should have on your mind is “Will these girls hook up with me?” You are out there to have fun and bring others into YOUR party. If they reject you, then it is their loss and if they accept you then it’s just one more group of people to party with, the game will come naturally.
You can’t not approach a group of girls simply because you are scared they won’t accept you, that is a just a major excuse for having high outcome dependency.
Once you start worrying about the outcome, you in turn start trying to seek approval which is one of the main reasons guys get blown out of sets. Girls can sense when a guy is seeking approval in the slightest way, it’s almost like they have got these approval goggles on. Let me explain this further; the more outcome dependent you are the less fun you will have: If you go to a party with your mind set on getting girls and you keep failing in your sets, you will start becoming worried on gaining the girls’ acceptance and become more dependent getting a positive outcome and thus you will start being CAREFUL of what you say to the girls; making sure you say the ‘perfect’ things and that you impress her, thus making you look approval seeking.
You are making her look as if she is the prize and you are trying hard to be drawn into her reality, when in fact you should be bringing her into yours as said before.
You will find that once you become outcome independent you will find yourself back in the chill, fun, no pressure vibe that is so attractive to people. As a result, approaching will become MUCH easier and way more fun.
Let’s say you approach a group of girls yet you are not having a good time and you try throwing game on them… Then why are you talking to them other than the fact you want to hook up? BOOM blow out. Often once you have been blown out after going in with a large dependency on the outcome, your mood will be ruined for the rest of the night and your ability to have fun will have drastically decreased.
Cutting out the Dependency of the Outcome
- In order to do this you need to spot the times where you are not having a good time while you are out and think to yourself “Am I currently dependent on the outcome?” and if the answer is yes CUT IT OUT and stop caring, do what makes you have a good time.
Correct your mind set and constantly push your dependency out of your head and it eventually become unconscious and you will start to see drastic results.
- You now have to learn to identify the reasons why you get the dependence in certain situations in the first place and approach those situations with an “I don’t care” mind set. If it fails, you simply get up and do it again.
I find that if you continuously open set after set without thinking about the ‘opener’ and you literally eject from one set to another over the space of a few seconds, your mind is actually too occupied to focus on small things like the outcome of the situation, you’re more focused on meeting people and jumping around, boosting energy and having a good time.
More you party –>More you approach–> More fun you have –>Less outcome dependency
- Now that you’ve identified the reasons why you become dependent on the outcome; it’s time to approach. Remember to be ruthless – you’re just being you – bring them into your world and what they think of you doesn’t really matter; REMEMBER THAT.
- If you find that you begin to worry about the end result and you start showing them that you’re seeking approval; identify this and bounce to the next group. You can always go back to that same group later on in the night so keep moving.
- They start getting cold –> Bounce –>keep moving –>Less outcome dependency –>more fun & success
- But what if you’re stuck and there is no one else close by to bounce to. You need to fix this situation or it’s nothing besides another blow out. Once you have realized that you are becoming dependant on the outcome in these situations you should simply adjust your level of energy – slightly higher than theirs yet acceptable to them; in other words – what they feel comfortable with. You don’t want to be seen as a dancing monkey. Show that you can relate to them yet at the same time show that you are able to amuse yourself.
- And also, harsh but vital, don’t give a shit! They’re people just like you and chances are that you will most likely never bump into them again – ‘unless they’re at school with you. Still, there is no reason for you to give a fuck Are you going to die if these people don’t accept you straight away? NO. There will always be people and there will always be girls. So if you see yourself stressing over the outcome in the middle of your conversation and it is too late to bounce; just remember that there is absolutely no reason for you to give a shit about the outcome and SELF AMUSMENT is the key.
Remember to keep this statement in mind, “Why do I give so many fucks about these people? Just stop and have fun!”
Over all outcome dependency leaves you with a “what if” mind set. Leave that mind set and live in the PRESENT.
Then leave a comment below.
-Cheers Snow x