You have no idea who you are, no idea what you’re capable of. No matter how hopeless you might feel, you have the power to talk to that girl, get her number and more, you just don’t know it yet.
How can I be so sure? I’ve been there,I’ve coached guys who have been there too. You aren’t unique.
Now is your time.
You have next to no experience in any of this, all you know is when you try to do this you’re too nervous to do anything, you probably can’t even get your legs to work well enough to walk over to her, let alone say something. Heaven forbid you touch her.
This is why you have no idea who you are, if you’ve never picked up a tennis racquet before chances are you’re going to suck, but that doesn’t mean you’ll definitely suck – you might be naturally good at tennis, and you would never have known this if you had never picked up the racquet. Furthermore you may improve very quickly if you play tennis every day and really push yourself.
Synonymously, if you never approach girls and make conversation with them, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. Chances are you will suck at first, sorry to dash your dreams, this is just the way things work in life.
If you never try something you’ll never be good at it. And if you do it all the time and push yourself to get better then of course you’re going to get better, there’s no question.
Let’s go back to tennis briefly, If you have never played tennis before, you could spend a whole week reading everything there is to know about tennis, the right swings, the right stances, the perfect shots, but then when you come to playing tennis there’s no guarantee you’ll be any good, you’ll just know how to be good if you had the talent. You can read how to get girls to swoon for you all your life, but I guarantee if you ever nut up and talk to a girl all that helpful information will abandon you, because your brain hates you, and because when you get nervous, you panic, and when you panic your thought process goes like this:
“Ok say something…. THINK, say something say something… ANYTHING, JUST SAY ANYTHING, FUCK. ASK A QUESTION, WHERE’S SHE FROM, SHIT I’M BOMBING”.
From this moment on ANY kind of conversation seems like a massive achievement. Then about an hour later once the piss in your pants has dried you start to remember all that useful information that you read. Then you start thinking about what you should have said, and you sit awake at night dreaming of what would have happened, had you done things the right way.
This is why reading is not good enough.
Until you get to the point where you’re confidence is high enough that you’re comfortable in the situation where you can actually apply that knowledge, why bother knowing any of it? It’ll just taunt you as a reminder that you knew exactly what to say, but you were too nervous to think of it. Thus what is most important to your success is your experience in-field.
You can read 100 pages on kino. All the what, when, how and why’s. But if you’re nervous when you’re with the girl, none of that will help you. You’ll be too nervous to touch her and you’ll think she’s judging you.
Every time you approach a girl you get a degree of experience. Remember in Pokemon Red when your Charizard beat the living shit out of that Bellsprout with a fire blast and then levelled up? You could be that Charizard.
The experience you get varies depending on how much you pushed yourself. If you just go up and say hello then eject, you get minimal experience. But if you get her number, you get much more experience, and you become more comfortable with approaching random girls. You get out what you put in.
Even failure brings with it a degree of experience.
When you feel that horrible discomfort that comes with all this, EMBRACE IT. It’s temporary and pathetic. You’ll look back on it and realize you were silly to think talking to a girl was something to be scared of.
Some things in life are genuinely scary, like spiders, quick sand and all the old Scooby doo villains. If you ever come across any of these you have my permission freak out. But how can you group ‘talking to a girl’ in with these things?!
Bottom line, if you never try this you’ll never get better, and if you keep trying it you’ll get really good. All the writers here speak from experience, not just from reading and sitting around. Get out there.
Note from Eastcoast: Hey guys, I’m really sorry about not updating the site for the last little while. It’s been waaaaayyyy tooo long. Not trying to make excuses but I’ve been on a pretty wreckless streak partying/getting whoooonanny now that I’ve returned to school. However… That is no excuse and the writers and I will be killing it bringing you the best highschool advice available to you guys! Thanks for tuning in.