You have no idea who you are, no idea what you’re capable of. No matter how hopeless you might feel, you have the power to talk to that girl, get her number and more, you just don’t know it yet.
How can I be so sure? I’ve been there,I’ve coached guys who have been there too. You aren’t unique.
Now is your time.
You have next to no experience in any of this, all you know is when you try to do this you’re too nervous to do anything, you probably can’t even get your legs to work well enough to walk over to her, let alone say something. Heaven forbid you touch her.
This is why you have no idea who you are, if you’ve never picked up a tennis racquet before chances are you’re going to suck, but that doesn’t mean you’ll definitely suck – you might be naturally good at tennis, and you would never have known this if you had never picked up the racquet. Furthermore you may improve very quickly if you play tennis every day and really push yourself.
Synonymously, if you never approach girls and make conversation with them, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. Chances are you will suck at first, sorry to dash your dreams, this is just the way things work in life.
If you never try something you’ll never be good at it. And if you do it all the time and push yourself to get better then of course you’re going to get better, there’s no question.
Let’s go back to tennis briefly, If you have never played tennis before, you could spend a whole week reading everything there is to know about tennis, the right swings, the right stances, the perfect shots, but then when you come to playing tennis there’s no guarantee you’ll be any good, you’ll just know how to be good if you had the talent. You can read how to get girls to swoon for you all your life, but I guarantee if you ever nut up and talk to a girl all that helpful information will abandon you, because your brain hates you, and because when you get nervous, you panic, and when you panic your thought process goes like this:
“Ok say something…. THINK, say something say something… ANYTHING, JUST SAY ANYTHING, FUCK. ASK A QUESTION, WHERE’S SHE FROM, SHIT I’M BOMBING”.
From this moment on ANY kind of conversation seems like a massive achievement. Then about an hour later once the piss in your pants has dried you start to remember all that useful information that you read. Then you start thinking about what you should have said, and you sit awake at night dreaming of what would have happened, had you done things the right way.
This is why reading is not good enough.
Until you get to the point where you’re confidence is high enough that you’re comfortable in the situation where you can actually apply that knowledge, why bother knowing any of it? It’ll just taunt you as a reminder that you knew exactly what to say, but you were too nervous to think of it. Thus what is most important to your success is your experience in-field.
You can read 100 pages on kino. All the what, when, how and why’s. But if you’re nervous when you’re with the girl, none of that will help you. You’ll be too nervous to touch her and you’ll think she’s judging you.
Every time you approach a girl you get a degree of experience. Remember in Pokemon Red when your Charizard beat the living shit out of that Bellsprout with a fire blast and then levelled up? You could be that Charizard.
The experience you get varies depending on how much you pushed yourself. If you just go up and say hello then eject, you get minimal experience. But if you get her number, you get much more experience, and you become more comfortable with approaching random girls. You get out what you put in.
Even failure brings with it a degree of experience.
When you feel that horrible discomfort that comes with all this, EMBRACE IT. It’s temporary and pathetic. You’ll look back on it and realize you were silly to think talking to a girl was something to be scared of.
Some things in life are genuinely scary, like spiders, quick sand and all the old Scooby doo villains. If you ever come across any of these you have my permission freak out. But how can you group ‘talking to a girl’ in with these things?!
Bottom line, if you never try this you’ll never get better, and if you keep trying it you’ll get really good. All the writers here speak from experience, not just from reading and sitting around. Get out there.
-Sloth
Note from Eastcoast: Hey guys, I’m really sorry about not updating the site for the last little while. It’s been waaaaayyyy tooo long. Not trying to make excuses but I’ve been on a pretty wreckless streak partying/getting whoooonanny now that I’ve returned to school. However… That is no excuse and the writers and I will be killing it bringing you the best highschool advice available to you guys! Thanks for tuning in.
11 comments
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Anonymous
September 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Hey do you think you can give college advice?
I know this is highschool-game and can probably be similar, but it would be great.
I’ve been vibing well with everyone and parties will start up soon so far.
Eastcoast
September 11, 2012 at 11:14 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
We have something in the works dude, for now check out the forums and get to know us. We do a lot of coaching so we’ll definitely be able to help you out.
Anonymous
September 12, 2012 at 9:36 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
I made a journal on sosuave (but it’s not all that popular). What forum section should I do for this?
Thanks, I need the help because I feel like I might be doing some things wrong.
NDJ
September 12, 2012 at 1:33 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
I commend thee, reveal thyself!
cococrispy
September 12, 2012 at 2:34 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
My name is cococrispy on sosuave, titled “Following My Father’s Legacy- College Journal” in the high school forum.
Gabe
September 11, 2012 at 11:19 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
I asked a girl to homecoming today. She laughed and said no. I was devastated, but after reading this article I’m thinking “NEXT!”
Anon
September 12, 2012 at 12:42 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
This was a great read. All I’ve been doing was reading. I mean I have the looks and I have girls who I make eye contact with, but now its time to get experience. Thanks for your posts and continue what you’re doing.
Zebra
September 19, 2012 at 10:54 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
I’m glad you guys are still updating the website. Me and some friends are gonna start getting into the game since its our senior year, and we can use all the help we can get. I’ve only attempted one pickup, and I’m not proud of it. I was making eye contact with her at a line, and she was a couple people behind me in. After the line, I stopped her, even though she was with a friend, and nervously asked for her number. I was freaking out. But I only ended up getting her number because I found out later that she was insecure and a bit slutty. So now is my personal redemption, and I hope I can follow your advice every step of the way. Wish me luck!
LouieVs
October 7, 2012 at 12:26 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
I asked a girl to homecoming on Friday that I had never met before cuz I’m a freshmen. I went up to her in the hall and said I thing your really and I’d like to get to know you better, you want to go to homecoming with me…she said thanks when I said she was pretty but then she had laughed after I asked her to homecoming and said she wasn’t sure.
What should I say in the future to another girl I don’t know or have any classes with, and please don’t say oh get to know them first or something like that thanks a lot
Sloth
October 7, 2012 at 10:13 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Sup Louie, props on the balls it took to do that. You’ve put a lot of pressure on the interaction, it’s the same thing with asking girls on dates – if you put pressure on it and say we’ll get to know each other and maybe date after and all that shit, it’s very unappealing, particularly to a girl you’ve just met.
Try and make it sound fun and casual. eg: “Hey lets go to homecoming together, you look like a good time we’d have a lot of fun” See the distinction? Telling a girl you think she’s pretty and want to get to know her is fine, but the reason she’s not sure is because that’s such a commitment, she’s committing to ‘get to know you’ and potentially hook up with you.
Keep it casual and flirty.
Crazyman
October 14, 2012 at 3:49 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Another pokemon analogy that just came to me:
If you never throw a poke-ball, then how are you going to catch the pokemon?