There’s a lot of confusion out there on what being an ‘Alpha male’, a man, really is. So what does it mean to be a man today? A lot of people say it’s about being in charge of your situation at all times. I think it’s much more than that. Here is what I believe a real man is.
A real man is confident – He does what he wants, when he wants and with who he wants to do it. He doesn’t doubt what he says, what he wears or what he does. He is confident that what he is doing is right and no one can convince him otherwise. (Obviously not in extreme cases like people who want to murder someone…don’t be stupid)
A real man faces his fears- It’s perfectly acceptable for a man to have fears. It is not acceptable for those fears to control him. A man takes control of his fears and fights through them no matter what the task ahead. He pushes himself out of his comfort zone and into the unknown.
A real man does not seek reaction- He does things because he wants to do them, not to try and get approval of others. He tells a joke because he thinks it’s funny. He tells a story because he thinks its interesting. Not because he thinks other people will like him for it.
A real man keeps a cool head- He does not react when others try to put him down. He simply brushes it off as petty remarks and jealousy.
A real man embraces the hard times- He knows that life isn’t easy and the good times won’t come to him easy. But he never forgets that the reason it hurts is because he had something good to begin with.
A real man can laugh at himself- He knows how to take jokes on the chin at times but will not always as it can show submissive behavior to others. If he does this too often, it can insult his manhood and lower his value.
A real man gives value to others- He doesn’t need to put others down in order to big himself up. He will give value to others by laughing at their jokes, paying attention to their stories and treating them with respect.
A real man does not apologize for his desires- He goes after what he wants. Be that money, fame, fortune. It doesn’t matter. When a man sees what he wants, he goes after it with no shame, no regret.
A real man cares what people think- He doesn’t care about everyone’s opinions, but he listens to them and respects them. He cares about the opinions of those close to him and takes them into consideration.
A real man doesn’t go against his values- He holds his ground on matters important to him and isn’t easily swayed to go against his values if at all. His values should never be at the loss of those around him, yet he should put his values ahead of pleasing others.
These points here are what I believe helps make a real man. While I haven’t told you how to achieve these points. That is often better when learning to become an alpha male as learning to do them yourself will make you much more of a real man rather than a copy of how someone else goes about being a man.
-Sketch
9 comments
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Kevin
September 26, 2012 at 10:17 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Really good post. I think most people nowadays confuse being a man with being an asshole, or a jerk, or the loudest guy in the room. The reality is that none of those things are necessary, as long as you hold onto a few core beliefs.
Sketch
September 26, 2012 at 10:58 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Your absolutely right. That’s exactly why a lot of girls go for assholes. CanadianKid explains that pretty well in an article on here.
iamwonton
September 29, 2012 at 1:49 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
This is exactly the kinda post I wish I woulda read a long time ago. whatever though. This concept was never explicitly stated, but I feel like it can be the single greatest aspect of PUA and/or being a good human being there is
Sketch
September 30, 2012 at 2:16 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
In my opinion, this article isn’t pua at all. I may have thrown a couple terms in there, but that’s just because it makes it easier to explain certain things.
You’re right though. That right up there, is what I believe is key to being a great person and that is what we want people to be at HSG and on our forum. Not social robots spouting pua nonsense, being unoriginal.
ReelTalk
September 30, 2012 at 8:42 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Hey, great article. I need an opinion on something. What do you think on banging a slut, if she was clean and semi-attractive? “When a man sees what he wants, he goes after it with no shame, no regret.”
Eastcoast
September 30, 2012 at 10:50 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
I’m always down for a good looking slut.
Sketch
October 3, 2012 at 6:55 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
There’s nothing wrong with boning a good looking slut. Just wrap up and you’ll be golden
asianbboy
December 10, 2012 at 11:18 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
A real man does not seek reaction- He does things because he wants to do them, not to try and get approval of others. He tells a joke because he thinks it’s funny. He tells a story because he thinks its interesting. Not because he thinks other people will like him for it.
This is so hard for me. this is probably the #1 thing for AFCs to concentrate on -> i see it in my alpha male bro all the time. he tells stupid shit stories but they are interesting to him. How do I ENJOY life enough to find things interesting? i don’t have interesting things to share because i dont find much interesting.
Sloth
December 11, 2012 at 12:10 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Ello boy, sounds like you haven’t quite understood the message.
Imagine your brother is sitting thinking ‘i need to find things interesting so i can tell good stories’
Well he isn’t doing that because like you said, he’s a confident guy. You said it yourself his stories are shit, yet he tells them because they’re interesting to him.
Now i really don’t buy it that you don’t find anything interesting, i think your problem is you dont’ know what to say that other people would find interesting. That’s why you missed the point, stop trying to please the people you’re addressing, and just say what YOU want, if they don’t find it interesting then it’s their problem not yours, you had the confidence to tell the story anyway, which is always better than being the guy who just says nothing.
Stop trying to talk about things that people will like, start talking about what you like.7
For more information i wrote an article called ‘doing things the right way’ which elaborates on how to make general conversation interesting. Often it’s about your mood.