Improving your body language makes a big difference in how attractive or ‘cool’ you come across to people.
There is no ‘specific’ advice for body language as what you do can be interpreted in several ways.
It varies all the time depending on your setting or the people you’re with. So there are no definite rules, just guidelines that need to be adjusted for the situation you’re in. For example, you’ll want to appear more relaxed in front of a girl you want but you might not do this in class in front of a teacher to avoid unwanted trouble.
Before you even start to change your body language, you need to be aware of your body language when your interacting with people so that you can note what it is you actually want to change about it.
A good thing to do is to watch what the confident guys are doing. How their body language differs to yours. Note the differences and take from them what you like. It might feel awkward doing this stuff at first, in fact, I can pretty much guarantee you it will because its not natural to you. But eventually it’ll become natural and you won’t even be aware of what you’re doing.
Here’s some basic tips that can make a BIG difference:
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Make eye contact, but don’t stare – Now this is very important. Holding eye contact shows confidence, but obviously you don’t want to overdo yourself and become a creep like O_O . But not holding eye contact shows insecurity.
If you’re in a group, make sure you give everyone some eye contact and not just the people you feel comfortable with (friends, people you know) or your ‘target’. EVERYONE. If you’re not used to keeping eye contact, well then its going to be a pretty scary experience for you at first, but as you keep doing it more and more you’ll be wondering why you found it so hard in the first place!
CAUTION: Maintain eye contact
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Don’t cross your arms or legs - This in my opinion is fairly obvious yet a lot of guys still do it. Crossing your arms or legs is defensive body language and makes you seem closed off. Keep them open guys and the ladies might just do the same for you.
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Lean, but not too much – Leaning in a little bit shows you’re interested in what someone is saying to you. However, this is one of them you have to judge carefully as leaning in too far can make you seem needy and desperate to be involved. You can lean back a bit too to appear more confident, but again, if you lean too far back it can make you look arrogant and uninterested.
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Nod when people talk to you – It shows you’re interested and encourages them to keep going with their story which some less confident people might need, so it is a good way to give them value. But as always, don’t overdo it or you’ll like you’re having some sort of neck spasm.
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Relax your shoulders - A lot of people when they get tense or nervous push their shoulders in and up a bit without noticing. Take a moment to just move them down and back a bit and you’ll look more relaxed and comfortable in your setting. If you’re comfortable, the people you’re with will be too.
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Fill the space you’re in - If you take up space by sitting with your legs apart comfortably, arms out a bit, it shows confidence as opposed to sitting with your legs together like you’re afraid to be noticed by every girl in the room.
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Don’t touch your face – This is very common. It makes you look nervous and can be distracting for people listening to you or people talking to you.
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Chin up – Don’t look down, eyes forward. Looking down makes you look insecure and like you’re having a bad time. Who wants to be with someone who looks like they’re having a bad time? Nobody.
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Smile – People are willing to listen and talk to people who are more positive. Don’t just stick a smile on your face for no reason. Smile when you’re introduced to someone or meet someone new, but don’t make it creepy by continuously smiling at them.
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Slow down – Doing things a bit slower makes you seem more confident and relaxed in almost everything you do. For example, if someone calls your name don’t snap your neck around to face them, it seems. needy. Just slow it down and you’ll look more confident.
- Use your hands – Using your hands confidently instead of playing around with them, scratching your face or general fidgeting will make you look less nervous. Use them to help you tell a story or whatever I don’t care, just do it confidently. Also, try to keep your hands and things you’re holding, like drinks, away from your chest, it makes you look nervous and closed off.
Maybe not in her case
- Don’t fidget - Fidgeting makes you look nervous and can be pretty distracting too.
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Don’t stand too close – People get weirded out by people who get too close. Don’t invade people’s personal space.
Most importantly:
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Maintain a good attitude – If you’re feeling relaxed it will show in your body language just as it would if you’re nervous. So just ease up a bit more and relax.
Changing your body language may take some time but if you know you don’t display great body language then it is definitely a worth while thing to change about yourself. Only try and change a few things at a time so that they become completely natural (or almost) before you start working on others because your head just won’t take it trying to change everything at once.
And to be honest with you guys, people don’t look at you and judge you by your body language half as much as you think. But still, it makes us feel good, to look good.
- Sketch
8 comments
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Anonymous
August 27, 2012 at 2:39 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
I took notes from my drunk self
Pipe1x
August 28, 2012 at 12:02 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
“if someone calls your name, don’t snap your neck around to face them.” great image in my head hahahhaha. Great post! definately going to watch out for these tomorow!
iamwonton
September 1, 2012 at 2:08 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
one thing i’ve noticed is that if you prop your head up, put a little confident sway in your walk, and just act cool, YOU END UP FEELING COOL, which makes you hella confident
Sketch
September 4, 2012 at 10:46 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
One thing that always made me feel more confident just while walking around was pretending that I’d just won the lottery. You can’t help but look like a confident motherfucker with that on your mind.
John Smith
September 4, 2012 at 4:08 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
Hey not to be rude or anything but maybe you guys could write some articles about how to ask a girl out and how to talk to girls in your class cause many of these articles are directed towards college kids and dont really apply to me no offense. I’m sure other people would enjoy them too. I apologize if I sound rude. Thanks for all the great advice on the site and keep p the good work
Sketch
September 4, 2012 at 10:52 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
If you can’t find what you’re looking for here John, create an account on our “Legendary Forum” and ask exactly what you want answered.
It’s unlikely that we’ll be writing any articles on “How to ask a girl out” or “How to talk to girls in class” because they can be answered quite simply and shortly: JUST DO IT. It just takes balls. There’s no special “technique” for those situations. You just man up and do it.
RMO
September 9, 2012 at 6:10 am (UTC -3) Link to this comment
There is no significant difference between college classes and highschool classes asd highschools don’t have dorm life, which we haven’t even covered.
Class should be a reflection of who you are, but no real game is played there. Most game actually occurs outside the school, or outside of the normal school day.
During a normal highschool day you want to be social, and meet people. I describe exactly why in my last article.
Sloth
September 4, 2012 at 11:41 pm (UTC -3) Link to this comment
John you couldn’t of sounded any more polite lad, no need to apologise.